I Must Be A Constipated Virgin Beaver Shirt – Express your Humor

Behold the pinnacle of irreverent expression: the I Must Be A Constipated Virgin Beaver Shirt . This isn’t just a piece of fabric with a print; it’s a declaration of your glorious and unwavering apathy. In an age where everyone seems to have an opinion on everything, this shirt proudly proclaims that you, sir or madam, are fresh out of damns to give. It’s the perfect embodiment of that specific, liberating feeling when you are so wrapped up in your own world that external nonsense becomes background noise.

This shirt is meticulously designed for a specific kind of person: the quick-witted, the sarcastic, the office jester, the family’s black sheep, and anyone who appreciates humor that’s a little off-center and a lot clever. It’s for those who understand that the funniest jokes are often the most absurd and unexpected. If you’re looking for a way to broadcast your personality without saying a word, this tee speaks volumes. It artfully combines a bizarre, multi-layered scenario with a classic punchline, creating a comedic effect that is both intelligent and gut-bustingly funny. Forget bland, forget boring—this is the shirt you wear when you want your presence, and your sense of humor, to be remembered.

The Perfect Gag Gift for the Unflappable Friend

Struggling to find a gift for that person who has everything and is impressed by nothing? Your search is over. This t-shirt is the ultimate present for the friend, sibling, or coworker who prides themselves on their impervious, carefree attitude. It’s a gift that says, “I see your complete lack of f*cks to give, and I honor it.” Perfect for birthdays, holidays, or just because, it’s a guaranteed way to deliver a laugh and become the hero of the gift exchange.

Don’t settle for mediocrity. Embrace the absurd, celebrate your indifference, and let the world know exactly where you stand—or rather, what you don’t stand for. The Constipated Virgin Beaver T-Shirt is more than apparel; it’s a wearable mood, a comic masterpiece, and a testament to the glorious freedom of not giving a damn. Made with superior materials for maximum comfort and designed for maximum impact, this is the statement piece your wardrobe has been missing. Add this legendary tee to your cart today and let your inner beaver shine.

Product Specifications:

• Classic T‑Shirt (G500): 5.3 oz, 100% cotton for everyday comfort; Ash is 99% cotton and 1% polyester, Sport Grey 90% cotton and 10% polyester.
• Ladies T‑Shirt: 100% preshrunk cotton; Ash Grey is 99% cotton and 1% polyester, with a feminine scoop neck and slightly tapered fit.
• Crewneck Sweatshirt (G180): 8 oz fleece made from a soft 50% cotton and 50% polyester blend for warmth and durability.
• Pullover Hoodie (G185): 5.3-ounce, 100% cotton (99/1 cotton/poly (Ash) & 90/10 cotton/poly (Sport Grey)
• Long Sleeve T‑Shirt: 5.3 oz, 100% cotton; Ash is 99% cotton and 1% polyester, Sport Grey 90% cotton and 10% polyester for added softness.
• Youth T‑Shirt: 5.3 oz, 100% preshrunk cotton; Ash is 99% cotton and 1% polyester, Sport Grey 90% cotton and 10% polyester for easy everyday wear.
• Men’s Tank Top: 5.3 oz, 100% cotton with taped neck and shoulders and a tearaway label for extra comfort.
• Women’s Tank Top: 4 oz fabric, 60% combed ring‑spun cotton and 40% polyester jersey, laundered to reduce shrinkage and designed with a flattering fit.